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yakeen hai mujhe

dil ka aiyeena jhoota nhi hai

kya hua??

agar koi mere aas pass bhi hai

bas ek naya chehra hi to hai

jab ise jaan ne ki,pehchhan ne ki koi shart nhi hai

to phir??itni halchal man mein kyu hai??

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janti hun

vo ajnabi bhi nhi hai

kya hua??

agar vo pal pal badal raha hai

aur mein pal pal ulajh rahi hun

jab baat haar ya jeet ki nhi hai

to phir??ye behaal si haalat kyu hai??

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mana yaad mujhe

uski har mulakaat hai

kya hua??

agar kahin mein khush bhi hun

itna kuch soch bhi rahi hun

jab ye sab kuch khass nhi hai

to phir??ye itni kashish kyu hai??

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jab shruaat kisi ne ki hi nhi hai

to mein khatam kaise sab kuch kar dun

kya hua??

agar kisi ne kuch kaha nhi

jab hum in baaton se anjaan nhi hai

to phir??ye bekaar ki nazakat kyu hai??

ღღღ..............................................................

ho sakta hai

sach kuch aur hi ho

aur ye mera ek sapna hi ho

kya hua??

agar mein neend se jaagna nhi chhahti

bharm aur sach ke beech

tujhe aur khud ko door dekhna nhi chhahti

jab kahin tujh mein kho nhi rahi hun

to phir??ye ajeeb sa ehsaas kyu hai??

(ahh!!thoda sa ..i swear bas thoda sa romantic hone ki koshish ki hai maine zada to ho hi nhi sakti..i kno vese is kaam mein kafi bekaar hun but phir bhi try kiya hai...plz spare me for dis)

Khamosh khaalipan

Soiee si raat hai

har jagah sanata bhi hai.

theek se kuch dikh nhi raha,

bas kuch roshni taaro se hai.

par mein,

kise dekh rahi hun??

kise sun rahi hun??

kis se baatein kar rahi hun??

ye kis ki aawaz hai??

ye kaun jawab de raha hai??

dheere dheere mera mizaz kyu badal raha hai??

man ke shor se,

ab koi shikva nhi

shikayat nhi

meri soch ka,

ab koi imtihaan nhi

Is khaalipan se

ab kahin bhi naraz nhi

lagta hai jese aaj hi theek se milli hun is se

iski gehrayi ko aaj hi smjha hai

iski ehmiyat ko aaj hi pehchana hai

iski sab kuch sanjo kar rakhne ki adat ko aaj hi mana hai

iski bahut kuch lene ki baat ko hi nhi

bahut kuch dene ke ehsaas ko bhi jaana hai

ise kuch khone ka dar nhi

bas bahut kuch pane ki chhah hai

ise nayi baat se koi jalan nhi

bas purana yaad rakhne ka shuak hai

ye kisi aur ki khushi se kyu gila kare??

jab khud ka udsaai se dostana hai

ye kisi aur ko kyu galat kahe??

jab khud ka ilzaamo se rishta purana hai

kya kahun aur??

kaise likhun iska fasana??

ki koi to iski tareef kar de

kisi aur ka to pta nhi,par

bas ab to iski nayi paribhasha se

khud ka parichay mujhe karvana hai

("Empty vessels make most noise" aisa hi kehte hai log aur mante bhi hai,kal tak mein bhi yahi sochti thi par aaj nhi kal raat mujhe ek nayi definition milli..is tarah badal jayega khalipan ka matalb socha nhi tha)

Aaj kaise bhi.....

kab se koshish kar rahi hun

kab se khud ko dhund rahi hun

na jane kab ??kaise ??kahan kho gayi hun

pheli bar dil aur dimaag saath hai

himaat bhi aaj hi ki hai maine

aaj kasie bhi

is jhoote nakab ko hatana hai

khud ko khud se milvana hai

itna aitebaar mujh par hi kyu

itne sawal mujh se hi kyu

koi aaj mujhe rok nhi sakta

sawal aaj kisi aur ki umeedo ka nhi

baat mere vazud ki hai

aaj kasie bhi

nayi subah ko hi nhi

apne ek naye aks ko bhi dhund kar lana hai

janti hun

swarthi ban rahi hun

bandhano ko tod rahi hun,par

kisi ko sawal jawab karne ka hak nhi

mein,kyu kisi ke baarein mein sochun

dar kis baat ka hai

aaj kasie bhi

sirf apni hi baat karni hai

kisi aur ka naam nhi

kahin se khud ki hi pehchhan ko lekar aana hai

(hmm wel ye sab kuch likha to abhi half n hr phele hai but i think lagta hai na jane kitne time phele likha hai ye sab ya kab se sawal hain man mein)

Kyu,aaj bhi nhi bhuli vo shaam??

Us shaam,
ek dusre ke saath the,
baatein kar rahe the,
kuch nayi,kuch purani,
kuch apni,kuch begani,
koi sawal apne se us ehsaas par nhi tha,
umeed bhi ek dusre se koi nhi thi,
tamanna kuch pane ki bhi nhi thi,
khamoshi ne sab jawab de diye the,
anjaan aane vaale un palo se bhi nhi the,
jiska dar na jane kab se tha
phir bhi bahut kuch tha
jo dil mein tha,
jo kahin khamosh tha
jo hum bol nhi rahe the,
jo kahin kahtam ho raha tha
jo hum rok nhi skate the,
jo jawab to nhi chhahta tha phir bhi,
jo kahin sawal kar raha tha
jo jeena chhahta tha

sach aur,
vo dar jeet hi gaya
vo pal chale hi gaye
aur hum alag bhi ho hi gaye
sach kahun toh aaj
vo khamoshi ,vo sawal,
vo chhaht,vo ehsaas
vo khayal,
vo har baat nhi hai
vo sab kuch nhi hai
aur ho bhi nhi sakta
mein hamesha sab kuch bulne ka dava jo karti hun
yahan tak ki aaj kahin lagta hai
ki shayad tujhe bhi......
jab mein sab kuch bhul gayi hun
aur jab ab sab kuch chala bhi gaya hai
toh phir kyu??kyu mein??
kyu,aaj bhi nhi bhuli vo shaam??

(is kavita par toh ek sher mein hi likhna chhahti hun "Mohabbat ke saare bandhan tode hen jab se mein ne,ye zindagi meri asaan ho gayi hai,saanso mein bas gayi hai yun bewafai uski ya shayad apni hi,jese zindagi par ehsaan ho gayi hai")

Yun he

Kab se kagaz kora pada hai
Kab se shabdo ko sajane ki koshish chal rahi hai
Lagta hai aaj jaise kuch hai hi nhi
Par zidi to kam mein bhi nhi
Dosti ki hai,nibhani to padegi
Kalam or kagaz ki mulakaat karani to padegi
Lo ab jab kuch nhi mil raha hai
bas yun he kuch bhi likhti ja rahi hun


Aaj to aiyeena bhi naraz nhi
Aur man bhi saath nhi
Haan aaj raat
Chand ki roshni bhi achhi si lag rahi hai
theek hi kehte hai sab
Tofaano se
Koi zid aur shart nhi hoti
Usmein koi Jeet aur haar nhi hoti
Hausla umeedo se hota hai
Aur aitebaar khud par
Sach hi hai Uske ke thamne par
Haar ho ya jeet,jindagi
bas yun he ek naya sabak de jaati hai


Insaan bahut ajeeb hai
Aur mein bhi
Khush halchalo se bhi nhi
Or sawal thami hui har baat se bhi hai
sach bachpana mera abhi gaya nhi,nhi to
Bas yun he ek nayi kavita puri nhi ho jaati

(hmm..children's day par kafi khush thi..kuch smjh nhi aa raha tha kya likhun par phir bhi ek zid thi toh..bas yun he likh diya)

kaun kehta hai ???

kaun kehta hai??

mujhe kuch likhna nhi aata

kaun kehta hai??

mein achha nhi likhti

kaun kehta hai??

mere khamosh shabd bolte nhi

kaun kehta hai??

mera dhula sa aks mela nhi

kaun kehta hai??

mujhe sach bolne ki jarurat nhi

kaun kehta hai??

mere aur aapke beech koi rishta nhi

kaun kehta hai???

kaun kehta hai???

mujhe apni aehmiyat jatani nhi aati

mujhe apni tareef karni nhi aati

mujhe apni udan bhrani nhi aati

kaun kehta hai???

kaun kehta hai???

mujhe apne dil ki baat batani nhi aati

(sach kaun kehta hai ye sab..aaj mein us se milna chhahti hun,baat karna chhahti hun...kaun hai vo jo in sab par aaj bhi itna yakeen karta hai...jo mujhe se zada mujhe pehchanee ka dava karta hai...mein to nhi karti)

Phir aaj kuch......

sab kuch aakhon se dekha maine
har jagah jhil mil roshni ki kami nhi thi
par andhera mere ander kuch zada hi hai
mazburi usmein jeene ki na hoti toh
phir aaj kuch likhne na lagti...


sab kuch naya sa paya maine
har jagah sajawat ki kami na thi
par narazgi khud se kuch zada hi hai
takleef itni agar na hoti toh
phir aaj kuch likhne na lagti...


sab kuch rangeen sa hi mila mujhe
har jagah khushiyon ki kami nhi thi
par nami palkon mein kuch zada hi hai
gujarish uski assu bankar girne ki na hoti toh
phir aaj kuch likne na lagti...


ab tak sab kuch,
shabdo mein likne ki koshish ki maine
lagta hai jaise ek kavita bhi ban gayi hai
sab kuch likha hai
par kagaz khaali kuch zada hi hai
kahin kami si lagti hai,
ehsaas is adhure pan ka na hota toh
phir aaj kuch likhne na lagti...

(diwali se ek din phele lihka ye sab kuch
par kyu pta nhi,bas likha,shayad man kiya,
kuch socha,lekin kya??ye bhi nhi pta)

Raat abhi baaki hai

Meri soch ghari ho gayi hai

ya raat sach mein lambi ho gayi hai??

kal raat is sawal ne bahut pareshan kiya,

bahut socha,

bahut sawal kiye,

khud ko yakin ek baar phir dilaya,

par dimaag hai ki manna nhi chhahta.

aur dil ek baar phir jhoot bolna nhi chhahta.

sach kya hai??aur kya nhi??

kya chhahti hun??aur kya nhi??

mein kuch nhi janti.

phir shikaayt is baat se kyu hai ki

Raat abhi baaki hai...................

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Kyu mein ye sab bar bar sochti hun??

apne aap se ulajhti hun??

khud aitebar karti hun

aur phir us par hi sawal karti hun.

sukun kyu nhi hai mujhe??

kyu itni shikayat karti hun???

kyu itni naraz hoti hun???

jab kuch karne ki tamanna nhi hai

toh is besabri se subah ka intezaar kyu karti hun???

jab ye sab janti hun,toh ye manti kyu nhi ki

Raat abhi baaki hai..............................

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(apne b'day se ek din phele likha ye sab shayad..apni joining ko lekar kuch zada hi senti ho gayi thi,raat abhi baaki hai...ye yakin karna nhi chhahti.khud ko ek bar is baat ka ehsaas dilane ke liye likha ye sab)

Aiyeena

5 din phele socha phir ek baar
jab apne aap ko aiyeene mein dekha,

khud se bahut sawal bhi kiye,

sab kuch saaf nazar jo aa raha tha bahut dino ke baad.

jo mera nhi vo mujhe mil kasie sakta hai,

or jo mera hai vo mujhe se door ja kasie sakta hai,

bas ek baar phir is baat par yakin karne ko dil kiya,

Ek baar phir apne aap ko umeed bhi di bahut dino ke baad.

dekhna hai ab sach or jhoot ke aiyeene mein jeet kis ki hoti hai,

haarne ka dar nhi mujhe,

par us se phele jine ka junoon hai,

shart ek bar apne aap se phir lagayi hai bahut dino ke baad.

(likhna to aiyeena ka introduction tha..pta nhi ye kaise likh diya..ye sab kuch tha to kahin par is tarah se kuch likh dungi ye socha nhi tha..yakin nhi hota mujhe ye sab kuch 15 min mein likha tha..bahut hi common sa thought hai shayad isliye..5 din phele jo sawal khud se kiye the shayad usne help kar di thi)